WHY WOMEN ARE SO SPECIAL?

Mum and Dad were watching TV when Mum said, "I'm tired, and it's
getting late. I think I'll go to bed."
She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's
lunches. Rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the
freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box
levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and bowls on the
table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.
She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, put a load of clothes
into the washer, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button. She
picked up the game pieces left on the table, put the phone back on
the charger and put the telephone book into the drawer. She
watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to
dry. She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom.
She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted
out some cash for the excursion and pulled a text book out from
hiding under the chair. She signed a birthday card for a friend,
addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the
grocery store. She put both near her bag.
Mum then washed her face with 3 in 1 cleanser, put on her Night
Solution & age fighting moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth
and filed her nails.
Dad called out, "I thought you were going to bed."
"I'm on my way," she said. She put some water into the dog's dish
and let the cat outside, then made sure the doors were locked and
the patio light was on. She looked in on each of the kids and
turned out their bedside lamps and radios, hung up a shirt, threw
some dirty socks into the hamper, and had a brief conversation
with the one up still doing homework.
In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next
day, straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things to her
6 most important things to do list. She said her prayers, and
visualized the accomplishment of her goals.
About that time, Dad turned off the TV
and announced to no one in particular. "I'm going to bed." And he
did...without another thought.
Anything extraordinary here? Wonder why women live longer...?
'CAUSE THEY ARE MADE FOR THE LONG HAUL.......
(and they can't die sooner, they still have things to do!!!!)

Maths of life

A SMALL TRUTH TO MAKE LIFE 100%

If

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is equal to

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Hard Work

H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

Knowledge

K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

Love

L+O+V+E

12+15+22+5 = 54%

Luck

L+U+C+K

12+21+3+11 = 47%

( don't most of us think this is the most important ??? )

Then what makes 100% ?

Is it Money ? ... NO ! ! !

M+O+N+E+Y

13+15+14+5+25 = 72%

Leadership ? ... NO ! ! !

L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P

12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89%

Every problem has a solution, only if we perhaps change our attitude.

To go to the top,

to that 100% ,

what we really need to go further... a bit more...

ATTITUDE

A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

It is OUR ATTITUDE towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life 100% ! ! !

ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING

Change Your Attitude …

And You Change Your Life ! ! !

Now that you know the answer…

WHAT WILL YOU DO ABOUT IT ?

Marketing. Man version

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, 'I'm fantastic in bed.'

- That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says, 'She's fantastic in bed.'

- That's Advertising.

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, 'Hi, I'm fantastic in bed.'

- That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You get up and straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, 'May I,' and reach up to straighten his tie brushing yourself slightly against his arm, and then say, 'By the way, I'm fantastic in bed.'

- That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, 'I hear you're fantastic in bed

- That's Brand Recognition.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You talk him into going home with your friend.

- That's a Sales Rep.

Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.

- That's Tech Support.

You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing by. So you climb onto the roof of one situated at the center and shout at the top of your lungs, 'I'm fantastic in bed!'

- That's Spam.

Kids Are Quick

> TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
> MARIA: Here it is.
> TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
> CLASS: Maria.
> ____________________________________
>
> TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
>
> JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
> __________________________________________
> TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
> GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
> TEACHER: No, that's wrong
> GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
> ____________________________________________
> TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
> DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
> TEACHER: What are you talking about?
> DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
> __________________________________
>
> TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't
> have ten years ago.
> WINNIE: Me!
> __________________________________________
>
> TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
> GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
> _______________________________________
>
> TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
> MILLIE: I is..
> TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
> MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
>
> _________________________________
> TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry
> tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father
> didn't punish him?
> LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
> ______________________________________
>
> TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
> SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
> ______________________________
>
> TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as
> your brother's. Did you copy his?
> CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
> ___________________________________
> TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when
> people are no longer interested?
> HAROLD: A teacher
> __________________________________

Now that's weird

Funny Trunk incident

Truck Fun - The best free videos are right here

Make sense

TO ALL THE WOMEN OUT THERE,
have a NICE day!
(and MEN of course>..)

Believe it or not.
Woman has Man in it;
Mrs. has Mr . in it;
Female has Male in it;
She has He in it;
Madam has Adam in it;
No wonder men always want to be inside women!

Men were born between the legs of a woman,

yet men spend all their life and time trying

to go back between the legs of a woman....

Why?
BECAUSE THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME ?

Okay, Okay, it all makes sense now...
I never looked at it this way before:

Ever notice how all of women's problems start with MEN?

MENtal illness
MENstrual cramps
MENtal breakdown
MENopause

AND ..
When we have REAL trouble,

it's a
HISterectomy.

Great Politics

he prime Minister of China called President Bush to console him after the
attack on the Pentagon: "I'm sorry to hear about the attack. It is
a very big tragedy. But in case you are missing any documents from the
Pentagon, we have copies of everything."

=================================================

Musharraf calls Bush on 11th sept:
Musharraf: Mr President, I would like to express my condolences to you.
It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great bldgs... I would like
to ensure that we had nothing in connection with that..
Bush: What buildings? What people??
Musharraf: Oh, and what time is it in America now?
Bush: It's eight in the morning.
Musharraf: Oops...Will call back in an hour!

================================================

Vajpayee and Bush are sitting
in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman,
"Isn't that Bush and Vajpayee?"
The barman says "Yep, that's them."
So the guy walks over and says,
"Hello, what are you guys doing?"
Bush says, "We're planning world war 3"
The guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
and Vajpayee says, "Well, we're going to kill 14 million Pakistanis
and one bicycle repairman."
And the guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman?!!!"
Vajpayee turns to Bush and says, "See, I told you no-one would worry
about the 14 million Pakistanis!"
=================================================

Pakistani on the moon:

Q: What do you call 1 Pakistani on the moon?
a: Problem...
Q: What do you call 10 Pakistanis on the moon?
A: Problem...
Q: What do you call a 100 Pakistanis on the moon?
A: Problem...
Q: What do you call ALL the Pakistanis on the moon?
A: ....... Problem Solved!!!
=================================================

A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York .
Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog.
He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the
dog and saving the girl's life.
A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: "You are
a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: "Brave New
Yorker saves the life of little girl".
The man says: "But I am not a New Yorker!"
Oh then it will say in newspapers in the morning:
Brave American saves life of little girl" the policeman answers.
"But I am not an American!" - says the man. Oh, what are you then?"
The man says: "I am a Pakistani!"
The next day the newspapers say: "A Terrorist kills innocent American dog".

How dollars can be transform ?

Have a relax seat